too early for june gloom

I just applied for my first real job! Wish me luck all. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Grenoble has been beautiful up until today.. I was hoping for sun up to the day I leave, but looks like those gloomy old clouds are rolling back in. Yesterday, however, was gorgeous. Marie-Claire and I went for a hike up past the Bastille into the mountains. I am so sore today, but it feels so good. Nothing makes me happier than hiking around in the back country on a beautiful day. We packed a picnic lunch, climbed up the mountain, and ate while looking over the entire region. You could see for miles from where we were sitting, and I think I even saw my apartment!

On a sadder note, I had to say goodbye to my fabulous friend Ellen two days ago. I don't know how much longer I can keep saying goodbye before I break down. After June 2nd it's just me that's left here. I guess I'll find something to keep me occupied until I leave, but it'll be sad being here with all these memories and no one to share them with. Oh well. I'm going to try to avoid feeling down and just occupy my mind with happy thoughts for these next two weeks. No June gloom for me. :)

Madrid and the beginning of the end

I had to say goodbye to Daniel and Phil about a week ago - the night before I left for Madrid, and I said goodbye to Line yesterday. I knew the end was coming up soon, but I didn't realize it would all happen so fast. All the people I've met, places I've been, experiences I've had.. after the next few weeks it's all over and will feel like a blur and a dream. I still can't believe I'm done with college. Surely everyone must go through this kind of emotional turmoil when they walk out of their last final.

But along came Madrid, and I decided to push the turmoil aside for a while. A month or two ago I received an email through my study abroad program advisor for a weekend retreat put together by a group called Americans for Informed Democracy. Normally I'd just delete something like this without taking a second glance at it. But I read the letter and decided that I'd like nothing better than to go someplace I'd never been before to discuss my point of view with people just like me who I'd never met before. And it turned out to be an incredible experience.

We were a group of about 35 American college kids studying in Spain, France, Greece, London, Italy, Hungary, Scotland, etc. Most of us were International Relations or Political Science majors, but there were even a few Art and Literature majors who were there just out of pure interest. We discussed things like America's involvement in current global issues, what kind of a role should we play in international development, what do we think the future of Democracy will be if we keep going about things the way we have been, the role of the media, etc. I found it to be extremely informative and engaging. I also really enjoyed being able to talk to people about how I view things, and learning from their points of view. Most of you are probably thinking right now, "Olivia? Talking politics? No way!" But I guess it's been known to happen. If you want more info on the organization, check out their website: .

But seriously though, it was refreshing to see so many people my own age taking an active interest in the way the US government is going about implementing its policies. We broke into smaller groups to allow for more intense discussion, and in my group we were honored with the presence of an Indian woman who is studying at Oxford. Listening to her speak and give her points of view made me realize how our point of view is very American, even though we were all there because we want to see a change in the world. Having a non-American perspective opened up our minds even more to how the rest of the world views us, which is not always completely negative. But I realized that there is so much we don't know about the world, and if we want to see a change we have to make a point of talking with people from different places,and learn from what they have to say. It was great to see so many young Americans putting their minds together this weekend, but I think that it was the contribution of ideas from people like Gopak (the Indian woman) that really made the retreat worthwhile.

After the it was over, I stayed another 3 days in the city with my friend Juliet from UCSB. I attended a bull-fight (incredibly disturbing), went to the national art gallery (numerous pieces on display by Picasso (including Guernica) and Salvador Dali), experienced a bit of the infamous Madrid nightlife (but didn't quite make it until 8am!), ate lots of tapas (greasy but yummy) and paella, drank sangria, sang karaoke (really, really bad karaoke!), went to the city rose garden, walked through the palace gardens, and took lots of pictures. I didn't want to leave when the time came to go. It seemed as though I felt at home there on the very first day. Being in a big city again made me realize how cramped I feel in Grenoble. A lovely town, but too small for me. I need the lights, the noise, the nightlife, and the general busy feel of a big city. It has been nice being on what has felt like a year-long vacation, but I found in Madrid that I thrive on the city's energy. LA, San Francisco, and even Sacramento are all home to me. I love Europe, and I don't want to leave it. There's so much to do and see but unfortunately, that takes money and I gotta go home to make it.

I'll be home soon.

Festival de la Liberté

7 May 1945 in Rheims, France: "with no remaining options, Col. Gen. Alfred Jodl, representing the German High Command of the armed forces, signed the formal unconditional surrender of all German forces."

Tonight I went with my roommate, Marie, and her friend, Sabrina, to the "Festival de la Liberté" in Saint Martin d'Heres (my town) to celebrate this historic event. We left my apartment at about 9:15 and pulled up to a tiny square in the center of what would appear to be a small french village. It looked like something directly out of a movie: there were christmas lights strung from the trees surrounding a make-shift wooden dance floor full of couples - young and old - moving their feet to the sounds of the band on the stage. The band was pretty good.. The players were dressed up in 1940's garb, in full character and cranking out traditional French tunes from the war-era. Soon enough they began to throw in some "rock and roll musique" and everybody started twisting and be-bopping. They took a break and came back in 60's era type sequined mini skirts and polyester suits and began playing some different stuff. They threw in some American songs and I must say that when YMCA came on I was a bit shocked to find that they'd translated the words into French and nobody knew the hand/arm movements so I felt a bit like a fool. The translation job made me laugh so hard I had a side ache afterward... "c'est gay d'être à l'auberge de jeunesse" in no way translates to "it's fun to be at the YMCA"! But the band did a great job of mixing in songs from all kinds of different eras. I danced all night long, but I must say that the older French men have some moves hidden up their sleeves! I was watching one older couple jitterbug like they were still in their 20s! And there were some young couples out there too who were quite impressive. Why didn't anyone ever teach us to dance like that back home?

It was great to get out of my apartment and experience a little more French culture before I leave here. This entire month so far has been nothing but war commemorations and it's not about to stop, with D-day coming up in June. I never could have understood what a large impact the war had on Europe if I wasn't here to experience things like tonight's "Festival de la Liberté".

Other than that, I have no news. I made fudge last night and Penda loved it. I gave it all away to my Californian friends though because I knew if I had it in the apartment I'd eat it all. Finals are coming up quickly, but that means that I'll be in Madrid before I know it! I'm definitely going to make my last month here worthwhile. Like Marie reminded me tonight, when I was complaining to her about how quickly it's all gone by, my time here has been extremely fulfilling. Non, je ne regrette rien...

05.05.05: Happy Cinco de Mayo!

I seriously will do anything if it means I don't have to study... I'm so productive as a procrastinator it's not even funny. Since I woke up at 11:30am today, I have :

1. Taken a shower
2. Made my bed
3. Refilled my shampoo and conditioner bottles and cleaned the goo off of the nozzles
4. Swept my room
5. Categorized my entire music collection on my computer (almost 500 songs)
6. Read a 40 page chapter of the best-seller novel on my nightstand
7. Helped my roommate translate two songs into English for her brother's wedding
8. Had the same roommate introduce me to songs by two French singers I'd never heard of before
9. Walked back and forth from my room to my kitchen no less than 10 times
10. Made hot chocolate from scratch
11. Finished off a jar of Nutella (thinking about studying makes me crave chocolate...)
12. Taken out the trash
13. Spent about 20 minutes staring out my window with my textbook open on my lap
14. Written one 5 page entry in my severely neglected journal
15. Written a letter to a friend I haven't talked to since August
16. Checked my Myspace account 3 times for new messages (thanks Nida, Sara and Mandy!)
17. Checked my Facebook account once for new messages (thanks Brian!)
18. Checked my hotmail account 3 times for new email
19. Checked my university email account once for new email

... Have I sufficiently exhausted my procrastinative resources to the point where I have nothing left to do but study? It would seem so. Is it the slightest bit ironic that my textbook is sitting right between my elbows as I type this blog (checklist item #20)? Maybe. I think I'll stare out my window a bit longer. There's a storm on the rise and it looks like there'll be lightning! That's more entertaining than TV.. Not to mention studying.

Dear Beth (I told you I'd address the next one to you!),

You'd be so proud of me, Beth. Ever since you left for San Diego I've been spending less time on the internet and more time studyin :) Which actually isn't much at all, but hey it's a step in the right direction!
I took this picture this afternoon while sitting on my balcony studying for my phonetics final. The scenery helps me focus a little bit. I read a little, then sit and stare a little, then I read a little more. I sure am gonna miss this place. Hard to believe that in less than 2 months this will all feel like it was a dream. It sucks to be so nostalgic when I haven't even left yet.
Other than finals, all is well. I'm procrastinating as usual, but I think it's time to do a little more siting and staring... I mean, studying. :)

thinking

I seem to remember writing in a blog not to long ago that since it's finals time I probably wouldn't have much of a chance to keep this thing updated. But I'm finding that to be quite the contrary as in a desperate attempt to avoid studying I have been spending an extensive amount of time surfing the internet for jobs, music, and news about friends. I've also spent a lot of time inside my head thinking things out. I've made a list of goals I'd like to accomplish in the next 10 years (none of which will ever be achieved if I don't study and pass these finals!) and I've been taking mental notes on the steps I need to take to reach these goals. I have been thinking that somewhere, while wandering the streets of Grenoble, or exploring the snow-plowed pistes of the French Alpes, somewhere between my pillow and the inside world of my dreams I've found my sense of ambition. I've done what I came here to do. Everything I wanted to learn in college I learned here in France - not just in an academic sense, but mostly in the sense of having experienced the real world and having discovered the opportunities that it presents. Anyways... Enough of that. Time to get back to studying.

more finals procrastination